{"id":766,"date":"2015-03-18T23:25:52","date_gmt":"2015-03-19T05:25:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/?p=766"},"modified":"2019-11-12T20:59:02","modified_gmt":"2019-11-13T04:59:02","slug":"the-comparison-trap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/2015\/03\/18\/the-comparison-trap\/","title":{"rendered":"The Comparison Trap"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/span>

True confession. \u00a0I have been caught in a Comparison Trap.<\/p>\n

I have been comparing myself to other people and wondering why everyone is better than me. \u00a0I have to tell you, this is a horrible place to be. When I compare myself to others, I see how they are wonderful, and how I’m not good enough, and I’m left feeling very deflated about myself. \u00a0Not only do I feel down, but, I can’t see the possibilities of what I can be. Being in a Comparison Trap is damaging.<\/p>\n

It can look like this:<\/p>\n

“He is so great at analysis.” \u00a0That’s why I’m not good at my job. \u00a0I’m not good at analysis. \u00a0I must not be good enough.<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“She is so great at competition. \u00a0I don’t know how to compete. \u00a0No wonder I can never get ahead. \u00a0I must not be good enough.<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“She has so much discipline. \u00a0I don’t have that kind of discipline. \u00a0I must not be good enough<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

You get the picture. It’s a classic pity party. \u00a0We all fall into this trap at one time or another. \u00a0It can be hard to escape. So, what do we do? \u00a0How can we get out of the Comparison Trap?<\/p>\n

We must figure out how to appreciate what is unique about us. \u00a0We must embrace our strengths. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

It can look like this:<\/p>\n

“She is great at analysis and finding the root cause of a problem. \u00a0I really appreciate this talent and that’s why I ask her for help with analysis. On the other hand, I am a strong communicator and she comes to me for thoughts on communicating more effectively.”<\/p>\n

In reality, when we compare ourselves to others, we are not comparing apples to apples. \u00a0We are comparing apples to oranges. \u00a0Each of us is a unique constellation of strengths and weaknesses, different from each other, and each of our constellations has its own beautiful light that shines. \u00a0Comparing ourselves to others only serves to make us miserable.<\/p>\n

When you compare yourself to another, you really are comparing apples to oranges. Instead, claim your strengths. Know that you are special in your unique strengths. Instead of being caught in the Comparison Trap, escape by owning your strengths and sharing your light with others.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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