{"id":530,"date":"2014-11-17T07:31:31","date_gmt":"2014-11-17T14:31:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/?p=530"},"modified":"2017-06-23T20:48:01","modified_gmt":"2017-06-23T20:48:01","slug":"change-your-self-talk-by-using-your-strengths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/2014\/11\/17\/change-your-self-talk-by-using-your-strengths\/","title":{"rendered":"Change your Self Talk by using your Strengths"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\"AIThis isn’t working!<\/p>\n

Do you ever find yourself saying this?<\/p>\n

I was tired last night. I left the kitchen looking like a disaster area with dirty dishes stacked all over the counter, books from homework laying around and groceries still sitting in their bag. \u00a0This morning, \u00a0I woke up refreshed, ready to tackle the mess.\u00a0 Everyone pitched in, the kitchen was clean and I was getting ready for work when I glanced at the clock and noticed that my son\u2019s ride was late.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: \u00a0\u201cIs he coming?\u201d<\/p>\n

My son<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u201cI texted him.\u00a0 He\u2019s not answering.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: \u201cI better take you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Still in sweatpants and wet hair, I grabbed the keys and we left for school.\u00a0 All is good.<\/p>\n

\"\u30b3\u30df\u30c3\u30af\u30fb\u5439\u304d\u51fa\u3057\u30fb\u30b3\u30de\u5272\u308a\u4ed8\u304d\u80cc\u666f\u7d20\u6750\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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SNAP!<\/span>\u00a0 The minute we got in the car, something changed in my head.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u201cWhat if I had been at work already?\u00a0 Your ride is unreliable.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m going to be late to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

My son:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I texted and called multiple times and he\u2019s not answering.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI know. It\u2019s not your fault.\u00a0 I\u2019m not upset with you.\u00a0 This isn’t working!\u201d<\/p>\n

OUCH!<\/span><\/p>\n

How did I change from willingly driving my son to school to declaring \u201cThis isn’t working!\u201d<\/p>\n

IT’S THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES.<\/h3>\n

\"Young<\/a><\/p>\n

All of a sudden, an event occurred that wasn’t part of the original plan, and I started comparing myself to other people.\u00a0 These other people are the ones that are successful, that get to work early every day and would never be in a situation where they drive their son to school because his ride didn’t show up.\u00a0 These other people wouldn’t be so accommodating.\u00a0 These other people have their act together and everything always works for them as planned.<\/p>\n

Do you know these other people?\u00a0 Do they really exist? \u00a0I created this unrealistic \u201cother\u201d person as a point of comparison to substantiate my perceived deficiencies.<\/p>\n

I just read \u00a0\u201cLean In<\/a>\u2019<\/span>‘ by<\/span> Sheryl Sandberg. \u00a0She is a successful person that says she juggles home and work, just like everyone else. \u00a0Yet, in my mind’s eye, people like Sheryl Sandberg wouldn\u2019t get to work late so they could take their son to school – \u00a0even though I just read her book where she offers evidence to the contrary.<\/p>\n

So, how do I stop this noise inside my head,\u00a0this noise that could impact my whole day? \u00a0How do I tell myself a different story? \u00a0I really hated the impact that my thoughts had on my day and on my interaction with my son. \u00a0I\u00a0thought about how I could use my strengths next time.<\/p>\n

Reset.<\/p>\n

Today is a gorgeous fall day.\u00a0 It\u2019s warm, the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and the mountains are beautiful with their fall colors.\u00a0\u00a0 I have a whole day with no meetings.\u00a0 I have plenty of time to get my projects accomplished, and, I\u2019m really looking forward to my evening activities.\u00a0 I really enjoy spending time with my son and I enjoy taking him to school.\u00a0 I like getting a glimpse of his highschool world when I drop him off.<\/p>\n

I decide I will \u201cLet it be.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of my strengths is adaptability and another is positivity.\u00a0 As I look back at this experience, I adapted.\u00a0 I took my son to school AND I made it a miserable experience for both of us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even want to think about the repercussions of sending all those bad vibes into the world.<\/p>\n

Adaptability is about being present and enjoying the moment.\u00a0 Next time I\u2019m presented with this situation, I\u2019m going to do my best to stop and realize I have a choice.\u00a0 I have a choice whether or not I\u2019m going to take my son to school and I have a choice regarding HOW that experience will look and feel.<\/p>\n

If I make the choice to take him to school because I want him to get to school on time, because I enjoy the opportunity to take him to school, because it\u2019s a couple unexpected minutes in the car with him, and because it\u2019s an opportunity to say \u201cgood luck on your exam, have a great day, I love you more than you can imagine,\u201d then, I\u2019m going to do my best to use my adaptability strength and BE in the moment.\u00a0 I will invest myself in the choice I have made.\u00a0 I will be present.\u00a0\u00a0 I will also bring my strength of positivity into play and see this as an opportunity to have a moment with my son I wouldn’t have otherwise had. \u00a0I will allow both my son and myself the gift of a different kind of human moment.<\/p>\n

Have you ever had an experience when your self talk changed how you felt? \u00a0How do you use your unique strengths to tell yourself a different story? Please leave a comment and share your thoughts about using your strengths to change the stories you tell yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  This isn’t working! Do you ever find yourself saying this? I was tired last night. I left the kitchen looking like a disaster area with dirty dishes stacked all over the counter, books from homework laying around and groceries still sitting in their bag. \u00a0This morning, \u00a0I woke up refreshed, ready to tackle the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3609,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[38],"tags":[39],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/530"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=530"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3611,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/530\/revisions\/3611"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}