{"id":3826,"date":"2017-09-11T10:06:26","date_gmt":"2017-09-11T17:06:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/?p=3826"},"modified":"2019-11-12T20:49:32","modified_gmt":"2019-11-13T04:49:32","slug":"how-does-your-fear-serve-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tamarlobell.com\/2017\/09\/11\/how-does-your-fear-serve-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How does your fear serve you?"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Y<\/span>ou<\/strong> are an expert in you. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else does.<\/p>\n

A client recently reminded me how we use this expertise to focus on our flaws and beat ourselves up. We\u2019re so good at it. We clearly see every little thing that\u2019s wrong with us. In fact, this can become our \u201cgo to\u201d place. For example, when you\u2019re embarking on something new or you don\u2019t like what you see in the mirror, you bring out your playlist of personal flaws \u2013 with the volume turned up so high, it drowns out all other thoughts about yourself and your circumstance.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but most of the time, I\u2019m not even aware that I\u2019ve chosen this playlist. The songs go something like this: \u201cI\u2019m not like you so I\u2019m not good enough,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m never going to get this right,\u201d \u201cthis is why everything always goes wrong,\u201d \u201cif they really see me, they won\u2019t like me,\u201d and the oldie but goodie, \u201cif I\u2019m quiet about this, no one will notice that I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m doing.\u201d The tunes are familiar, get a lot of airtime and it seems impossible to turn the volume down and even more impossible to turn it off altogether.<\/p>\n

This is not a jam session that leaves you feeling uplifted. Rather, it leaves you feeling anxious, tentative, fearful, and not good enough. These thoughts hold you back \u2013 they limit you.\u00a0When you believe you aren\u2019t good enough, you are blind to your full capacity. <\/em><\/strong>You don\u2019t trust yourself<\/em> to bring your talents to the table.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s draining just to describe this way of being. I know it feels<\/em> draining because it\u2019s a place of second-guessing yourself. The crazy thing is \u2013\u00a0you have a choice.<\/strong><\/em> Even though it feels impossible to escape from such a familiar place, you can.<\/p>\n

First, we are all people with legitimate hopes, dreams, and desires. You are. Everyone is.\u00a0Have compassion with yourself.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>Give yourself permission to see that you are\u00a0a whole person with a brilliance that shines<\/strong><\/em>. \u00a0I bet you don\u2019t talk to others the way you talk to yourself. Give yourself a break and talk to yourself as nicely as you talk to those you love.<\/p>\n

Second, what does the world need from you? \u00a0In the next hour? On your project? On your team? The answer to this question will help you discover meaning in the moment. It frees you to focus on the wants, needs, and desires of others, such as your team, your organization, or your family. You will see beauty in others as your world becomes one of abundance and love and you\u2019ll notice you won\u2019t have a need for your playlist.<\/p>\n

Third, you have strengths. Use them. Embrace them. You have something unique to offer others. Your special talent and way of being is needed by the rest of us.<\/strong><\/em>Apply your strengths to live your meaning and you will feel energized and whole, and your family, friends, and co-workers will feel the same way because you are bringing your whole<\/em> self to the table. It\u2019s like magic. When all of you shows up, you create a space for others to bring their\u00a0whole<\/em> self to the table. Showing up this way lifts everyone up.<\/p>\n

The world needs you \u2013 all of you.\u00a0 Give us the gift of you!<\/p>\n<\/div>

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